Why Does The Possible Seem So Impossible...

I cannot help but wonder some days if I am cursed, but then social media reminds me that I am not. I am not cursed and I am definitely not the only one feeling this way. Is it really too much to want a relationship with someone who loves us as much as we love them? An unconditional love that is faithful, comforting and grows stronger everyday. One that is free from ridicule, games, drama and broken promises. Is it really or are we just setting ourselves up for a lifetime of disappointment by letting ourselves believe we will one day find it?

I am not a relationship expert nor do I claim to be, however you don’t need a degree to open your eyes and take a look around. Perhaps it is the country blood running through my veins that fuels my heart to believe in a forever kind of love, then again maybe, just maybe it is all the romantic movies I watch and books I read that feed a dream. I am not ashamed to admit that I have a romantic heart and I cry at all the happy, or sometimes sad endings. I am proud of how big my heart is, how caring I can be and how strong I can love.

I am very protective of my heart because I know how deeply it can love and just as easily, how hard it can hurt. Still it seems that no matter how protective you are, the liars, cheaters, and abusers still get through. But even though we are very selective let’s face it, every once in a while one sneaks in because like the old saying goes, the heart wants what the heart wants and you can’t stop it.

I myself am not a picky or greedy person, okay maybe a little picky from the OCD lol, but I don’t ask for or wish for a lot. I don’t care about lots of money or materialistic crap, that stuff cannot make you happy. It can make you believe that you are happy for a little while, but it is not true happiness. Houses fall apart, vehicles break down, jewelry gets stolen and money certainly does not buy everything.

As I sit here alone and a lot more broken than I ever was before, some serious walls have been built and my heart is on lockdown. What little bit of trust I had seemed to still cling too has faded far far away. Do I still hold on to hope, faith and belief… I do, because that is the hopeless romantic that will always live deep inside my soul. But the question still remains, is it too much to want a true genuine person that doesn’t try to be something they are not. One that is honest, loyal, faithful, patient and can give love as much as they get love. One that doesn’t keep secrets, that treats you as an equal and knows how to keep their promises. The one that stands beside you, holds your hand, protects your heart, fights for you and reminds you everyday that you are their one.

Is it really too much to wish for? In today’s society does it even still exist and if it does then why does the possible seem so impossible??