Holidays, Resolutions & Being True To Yourself...
The holiday season is upon us once again. A time where many are giving thanks, counting their blessings, honoring their religion and celebrating love. While children are hoping they made the nice list this year for Santa to visit, women are hoping they were just naughty enough to earn that surprise Christmas morning proposal from the one they have surrendered their heart to.
But what about those of us that do not fit into any of those categories year after agonizing year. Those that try and try again, holding on to faith that things have to get better eventually. Those of us that are the forgotten few. What about us?
I know, I know... I can hear the rebuttals now that there is plenty to be thankful for, like waking up every morning, having a roof over your head, etc. I get that, and I never said that nobody is thankful for those things, I myself know that I am truly blessed to have the few things I do have, however, when you spend all your time lonely and have nobody to share any of it with then sometimes they become forgotten blessings.
It gets a little harder for me during the holiday season since my birthday falls right on December 25th. I could not tell you the last time I had a birthday cake and a few years ago the only thing I wanted for my birthday was a cake but still no cake. Now I have so many food allergies that I cannot even have a birthday cake.
Birthdays surrounded by holidays like Christmas, New Years, even Halloween always get lost in the excitement and celebrations that surround them... they become forgotten. I myself know this since I have never as an adult had a birthday party, or have even got to have a birthday night out because everyone is either too wrapped up in eggnog and Christmas parties, or staying in to avoid the traffic and madness that is last minute holiday shopping.
If you are alone, like myself, during the Christmas season and you make it through to the other side, you know just as much as I do that we are not looking forward to New Years Eve! I don't know what it is about New Years Eve, you countdown with the TV, well unless you are actually on location in Time Square, etc, midnight strikes, everyone is kissing the one they are with and we feel even more alone because we don't have anyone to kiss. But, although that in itself is sad, for some reason what really makes me cry every single time, and I cannot be the only one, but I always cry when they play that dang New Years song. What is it about that dang song?
Ahhh... and then the resolutions. We all get asked if we have one, we all make them. Most people take the easy road and vow to stop doing something that they know they will not follow through on. For example, how many of you have, or know someone that has vowed to diet, stop smoking, stop drinking, stop spending so much money, and within a few days they were just spoken words. But then there are those of us who choose resolutions in hopes to change, or better ourselves. We ask ourselves why are we alone, or what is wrong with us and then we pick ourselves apart destroying our confidence and self esteem. We need to stop self sabotaging!
It is time to start being true to yourself. Hold your head high, walk with pride, shine with confidence and stop settling. One of the reasons we are alone and we find ourselves picking up pieces and putting ourselves back together is because we do not stay true to ourselves, to our values and we settle. We settle for people that treat us horribly and despite all of the warning signs right in front of us, we choose to ignore them and hold on to the hope that they will change eventually because in the moment any attention is better than being alone. Eventually we get tired, we become unhappy, things fall apart and we are back where we started, alone and picking up the pieces and the only thing that has really changed is that we are a little more broken than before.
The next time you make a resolution, make your resolution be to choose you... to be true to yourself. I know from experience that I have wasted too many years on undeserving men. I am not getting any younger, or healthier for that matter. I may not have the many years left to share with someone, but that does not mean I cannot still have and cherish the kind of true love that lasts a lifetime. I may be damaged but I will always be a hopeless romantic.
If they cannot call, send you a message, hold your hand, comfort you, or even take you anywhere... if they seem ashamed to be seen with you, and cannot put forth any effort or time, then they definitely do not deserve any of yours. If they truly care then it should be effortless and nothing should ever be one sided.
I want to wish all of you a safe and wonderful holiday and if you do have that someone to share it with, cherish them and your time together. Do some soul searching, think long and hard about a worthy, heartfelt resolution in the New Year... and when making it remember you come first... it is not selfish to be true to yourself!!
Happy Holidays & Much Luv!! xo
