Not Just A Pretty Face...

Everytime I post a selfie or a photograph, I get a lot of wonderful comments from family, friends and fans about how beautiful I am. I don't see what you all see, I think I am average. You all are very sweet and I am flattered, so I wanted you to know there is so much more to me than meets the eye.

I am not a very complicated person, what you see is what you get. What I mean by that is I do not put on a facade, I do not pretend to be something I am not and I do not mislead people. I am smart, I am funny, I am honest, I am loyal, I am faithful and I have a heart of gold. My personality that you see is the real me, that is how I am always!

Now it is no secret that I have had an abusive past, I have spoke about it many times. I am not ashamed of it, in fact I am a stronger person for coming through it, yet still a little broken because of it. However, it does not discourage me from believing in people, although most times that lets me down. So it is safe to say that trust for me right now is pretty much non-existant. One of my biggest pet peeves in pushy people, I do not like feeling backed into a corner and I shy away or hide when things get heated. I may have my disabilities, but don't confuse that for stupidity. Sometimes I may not be the brightest crayon in the box, but everyone has their moments.

Somebody asked me the other day what I am really looking for and that is a very good question. After wasting so much of my time that is now gone forever on undeserving people, I do know what I want. What I cannot figure out is why it's so hard to find.

First though, I will tell you that I also know what I don't want. I do not have anymore time to waste on deceivers, liars, cheaters, game players, drama, childish games or people that don't even have a clue, but think they know what they want. I will not allow myself to be made a fool of, I am not a joke and I cannot even tell you the number of times I have heard I will treat you the way a woman deserves to be treated, or I will spoil you like crazy. But my favorites are, You are the love of my life, my soulmate, and I promise I will never break your heart. I can't forget the best ones of all which are all the empty promises to places we are going to go. Just to name one, I have been promised the Grand Canyon three times already.

So what exactly am I looking for? I am looking for someone that understands values and knows what it means to have a relationship. That it is about being a team and we fight for one another, not against each other. That you hold someone's hand through the good times and even harder through the bad. Someone that allows me to be myself, laughs with me during the fun times and makes me feel safe in the scary times. Someone that believes in me, supports me and understands me because they took the time to get to know me. Someone who is loyal, faithful, and honest with me because secrets destroy everything. A person that will not hide me from the world as if they are ashamed of me. Someone who cares and feels just as deeply about me as I do them. One who when they look me in the eyes and tell me they love me, and they won't break my heart, they really mean it. I could go on and on, but you get where I am going with this. I want a real man. A real, grown up man who is not a coward. One who has a set of balls and can tell it to me straight, instead of being a coward and lying their way through things.

I tease and say that I am a Southern Belle living the city life, although I was born and raised in the city I have country blood in my veins from both sides of my family. I think this is why I have old fashioned values. I have a huge heart that can love hard and will love deeply that person deserving of it and ready to treasure it, not run from it. I am a romantic, and yes I believe in fairytales and happily ever afters. Maybe I am fooling myself into thinking that sort of thing is even possible anymore, but I hold on to hope because if I exist, then there has to be someone like me that exists, right?

I will close with this... I deserve respect. If you message me with the type of message like I got the other day, "What's up girl, you are one bad bitch!", you are not going to even get a reply. For starters, how are you going to call someone you never even talked to before and don't even know a name like that? Do men really think that is going to make a girl so excited that she drops everything and goes "Oh my God, Finally!"

Secondly, last I checked no still means NO! If a person tells you no, or they can't, then that is what they mean. Being pushy and trying to force yourself on someone is not going to work, that is only going to chase someone away.

Lastly, use common sense please and put some effort into things. I will not respond to questions that have obvious answers, or have answers that are staring you right in the face and you just can't take the time to see them. That right there, at least to me, already shows lack of interest.

I know this is a blog, and I am sorry that this is more of a rant. Well, really a sort of informational rant lol. I just felt some things needed said while others needed answered. So there you have it, I am not just a pretty face!

As always, Much Luv!