It's Not That Complicated, Really...

The saying goes that you are your own worst enemy, and actually we are. Some of us can be really hard on ourselves, myself included because let's face it, most all of us have at least one thing that we see as a flaw. Society helps us with this by fueling our insecurites about our appearance, our weight, our clothes and many other personal things like freckles, birthmarks, scars, etc. Since we have become our own worst enemy, are we also unknowingly self sabotaging ourselves?

People that lack confidence honestly cannot see just how beautiful they are while those that have confidence abuse it by thinking they are better than everyone else without even seeing that their arrogance just makes them unattractive.

No matter if you lack confidence or have it, I hear so many people say how hard it is to meet somebody, to find someone good or to even date. The harsh truth is that in todays world people don't realize they are losing or have already lost manners, respect and values.

I obviously cannot speak for everyone, but I can be a voice for men and women that are a lot like me. Here is some helpful advice, at least from my perspective, when it comes to getting to know people and dating.

Manners: This is very important, especially when talking to or meeting someone for the first time. You do not have to go out of your way for anything special or extravagant to accomplish this either. A simple, "Hello, how are you?" or "Hi, my name is _____ nice to meet you." Even if you are out in public at a bar for example and you are shy, slip the person a little note. By little I mean little, less is truly more in this situation because you do not want to come off as overbearing. A simple, You really caught my eye, would love to know more about you. Call me. Of course write your number down also.

Respect: People really need to be polite and show some respect. I cannot tell you how many times I personally have been approached without even a hello and just straight to comments like 'You are a hot ass b#tch' or my never favorite 'Yo, what up milf'. Some may think that the word milf is some creative term of endearment, but I find it very offensive, almost as if you were to just go right ahead and call me the C word. Anyhow, comments like this are not going to get someone's attention, and if it does then most likely not the type you want to take home to the family. People that approach me in this manner I do not even respond to, sorry.

Values: Remember these? When a partner was loved and cherished. You would have each other's back and take on the world together, not against one another. You were lovers and best friends while being your partners protector, supporter, inspiration and rock. Where you got married, had a family and grew old together.

Anymore it seems there aren't any values, and if there are... well they are very hard to find. In today's world it seems we are all disposable, and I have said this before. It is all lies, betrayal, backstabbing, cheating, empty promises, heartbreak and in some cases even devastation.

A person will look you in the eyes, tell you that they want the same things as you and that it is okay to let down your guard and trust them and then two weeks later stomp your heart to pieces for no reason with no explanation. You are left blindsided, trying to put your heart back together, doubting yourself and wondering what you did wrong. The truth is, you didn't do anything wrong and that person was just a heartless p.o.s. I hear people all the time say, 'Don't hate the player, hate the game', Well no... I hate the player because the player should have had sense enough not to play the game! Remember the scarlett letter? Too bad we couldn't somehow still mark the ones we need to stay away from!

So with these mentioned, of course there are other little things, but it basically comes down to common sense. We all just want someone that will love us the way we love them... unconditionally. We want honesty, loyalty, faithfulness, respect, a best friend and a lifetime of happiness... We just want to feel like we are important to someone and that we matter.

Most of us have been hurt and betrayed so badly that once we do find a good thing, we don't know how to let it happen or how to embrace it and we end up self sabotaging because we are broken.

People need to be honest, have manners, show respect, be compassionate and honor values. We are grown people, we know right from wrong and as I said before it is common sense. Treat others the way you would expect to be treated. (well in most cases, because some people I think really crave being treated horribly) But honestly people, this world is making it seem so much harder than it has to be when it's not that complicated, really!!